Lindsey Grayham - Was he a 'patriot' and 'a great American'?

It is a well-established custom of polite society that we must never speak ill of the dead.

Instead, we are expected to collectively agree that every departed politician was a tireless public servant, a dedicated family man, and a master of bipartisan compromise. But why stop at polite when we can achieve the sublime?

A diplomat of high-altitude deliveries

To appreciate the late Senator Lindsey Graham, one must appreciate the sheer, unadulterated passion he brought to his life’s work. While lesser politicians occupied themselves with trivialities like infrastructure or domestic tax brackets, Graham’s eyes were always fixed on a grander, much louder horizon.

He did not merely support American foreign policy; he lived for the kinetic symphony of it. For decades, Graham championed a remarkably consistent doctrine: if a country had a name, a functioning government, and sat somewhere in the Eastern Hemisphere, it was probably overdue for a visit from a few Tomahawk missiles.

His list of proposed targets was practically a geography lesson, spanning:

• Iran

• North Korea

• Venezuela

• Iraq

• Syria

• Libya

• Mexico

It was an impressive display of intellectual consistency. Where others saw complex geopolitical crises, Graham saw opportunities to spread freedom at 1,500 miles per hour. Collateral damage? Merely a minor administrative detail in the glorious pursuit of regional stability.

The ultimate VIP room: The bipartisan warmongers' club

When President Trump took to social media to eulogize Graham as a "true American patriot" who "never stopped working," he raised an excellent journalistic question: For whom, exactly, was the senator working so tirelessly? 

The answer lies in the cozy, well-carpeted corridors of the military-industrial-intelligence complex. Graham was the undisputed chairman of this very exclusive, very bipartisan establishment.

LINDSEY GRAYHAM - Drunk for joy when telling about killing people

Indeed, the esteemed Founders may have envisioned the military as a tool for actual defense. But Graham and his neoconservative colleagues recognized that defense is far too limiting. Why wait for a threat to come to you when you can preemptively deliver it to their doorstep?

It is the one issue that brings absolute harmony to Washington. While members of Congress might struggle to agree on how to fund basic government functions, they will happily pass a defense spending bill in record time, complete with standing ovations. Those who object to this harmonious arrangement find themselves promptly disinvited from the party.

"The USA has two political parties that cannot agree on how to tie their shoelaces but are perfectly aligned when it comes to financing foreign conflicts."

A legacy of explosive results

As flags fly at half-staff across the country, we are left to survey the magnificent garden Graham spent his life cultivating. It is a world where bombs are detonating across Europe and the Middle East—a testament to the enduring success of the "first resort" foreign policy he so passionately advocated.

Some might look at this global instability and feel a sense of unease. But to do so would be to misunderstand the core philosophy of the neoconservative movement: the end always justifies the means.

If a hundred non-combatants must be caught in the crossfire to resolve a minor bureaucratic dispute with a foreign adversary, Graham was always comfortable with the math.

We can only look on in awe at those who continue to praise this legacy, secure in the knowledge that their enthusiasm for creative foreign interventions will surely never be directed back toward them.