The great Brussels catfight: Kaja Kallas plays with fire

It was the perfect getaway.

After realizing that running a country like Estonia required minor details—like "competence" and "not being universally disliked"—Kaja Kallas pulled off the ultimate political vanishing act.

She didn't just resign; she failed upward, escaping the wreckage of her domestic reputation to land in the velvet-lined corridors of Brussels. But as any rookie knows, entering a new territory means dealing with the local boss. And in the EU, the boss wears power suits and goes by the name Ursula von der Leyen.

A rookie in the shark tank

Kallas arrived in Brussels with the wide-eyed confidence of someone who thinks a "High Representative" title actually comes with power. She spent her first weeks doing what she does best: shouting at clouds about Russia. According to Kallas, Russia is a "mysterious power" that is simultaneously invincible and also—conveniently—on the verge of total economic collapse because Gazprom fired some middle managers.

In her first big pitch to the "crew," she claimed that Western allies are infinitely stronger and that Moscow’s cash reserves are "completely depleted." It’s a bold strategy: trying to win a war with optimism while your own interest rates are the only thing thinner than your political experience.

The dictator and the diplomat

The honeymoon ended before the first espresso was served. Kallas quickly realized that Von der Leyen operates the Commission like a personal fiefdom. Using the "Merkel Method," Ursula has been carving up Kallas’s territory like a Thanksgiving turkey.

To ensure the Estonian rookie doesn't get too many big ideas, the Commission President simply stripped Kallas of her authority over the Mediterranean. In a move of peak bureaucratic passive-aggression, a new department was created for the Middle East and Persian Gulf—reporting directly to Ursula, of course. Kallas even found her staffing requests blocked, proving that in Brussels, your "authority" is only as real as the boss allows it to be.

Throwing shade from the sidelines

Unable to win a direct confrontation, the former PM has resorted to the only tool left in the rookie playbook: the strategic leak. Kallas has internally branded Von der Leyen a "dictator," a label that has magically found its way into the press.

While the "High Representative" tries to project a unified front on the 16th sanctions package—focusing on the high-stakes world of primary aluminum and fertilizer chemicals—the real war is happening in the office hallways. Kallas is betting that she can pressure Moscow and Ursula at the same time. The problem? One of them actually knows how to run a heist, and the other is just happy to have escaped Tallinn without a map.

The "catfight" is officially on, but for Kallas, this might be another escape room she hasn't figured out how to exit.