SATIRE | Kim Jong-un declared North Korea an Islamic State
Updated: Dec 16, 2019
After CNN's Jim Acosta visited America's southern border, he recently visited the world's most dangerous border, the Korean Demilitarized Zone. Standing directly at the border, holding a rare image of Kim Jong-un with beard, Acosta reported about a dangerous development in North Korea.
According to Acosta, the North Korean dictator announced that North Korea is an Islamic State now. Its official name will be changed from the 'Democratic People's Republic of Korea' to the 'Islamic Republic of Korea', Allahu Akbar.
Authenticity of both, the announcement and image, were confirmed by CNN anchor Anderson Cooper.
The IRKCNA (Islamic Republic of Korea Central News Agency) reported that Korean dictator Kim Jong-un declared Islam the official state religion after receiving a revelation from Allah. Angel Gabriel appeared to him, while traveling to China in his bulletproof train, in March 2018.
Kim emphasized the importance for declaring a nuclear war against South Korea and 'The Great Satan' (USA). Despite positive talks to President Trump, he felt himself stabbed in the back. He couldn't stand Trump's red MAGA hat. As Kim stated: „It's like a red rag to a bull“. His positive approach towards Trump was the Islamic way of practicing 'Taqiyya'.
Kim also added that in a nuclear war, the 'Islamic Republic of Korea' will emerge victorious, like 'Muhammad has been made victorious through terror'.
He also revealed that the Korean Peninsula already had connections to Islam for centuries and that in fact the 'Islamic Republic of Korea' has always been an Islamic State. So it was very easy to declare Islam the state religion.
The 'Call to Prayer' will be broadcasted five times a day through the thousands of loudspeakers already setup to daily praise him. IRKCNA will only broadcast news from the Islamic world and all movies will be censored. After the last 'Call to Prayer' the channel will close down till the first 'Call to Prayer' in the morning.
Infidels, not willing to practice Islam will be reeducated in camps and will only be released when they behave in accordance with Sharia Law and when they are capable to memorize the Quran by heart.
Kim also revealed that his grandfather and father were pious Muslims and followed the Quran by the word by killing infidels in the former 'Democratic People's Republic of Korea' by the millions. During the Communist era they practiced Islam in secret to survive the Cold War. Communists were Godless people.
Former North Korea always maintained the central values of Islam, such as modest clothing, persecuting Christians, killing infidels and forbidding women from riding bicycles.
Kim invited Nancy Pelosi and a delegation of democrat Members of Congress and promised to pay all expenses and keep the flight schedule secret.
Then he made the startling revelation that not Muhammad, but he was the last Prophet and concluded his statement with: “Muslim brothers of the world, Allah has sent me to lead you in the new Caliphate. Let us unite in the jihad against the infidels!”
The announcement was globally met with mixed responses
Analysts say the announcement is (as usual) aimed at drawing Washington’s attention, as well as boosting morale for the people of the 'Islamic Republic of Korea' and that not President Trump, but clearly Kim Jong-un is the strong man and most probably a punishment for Trump calling him „Little Rocket Man“ on Twitter. (Twitter is only available to high ranking politicians)
Meanwhile, Islamic leaders were highly offended by Kim Jong-un’s announcement.
An imam said, “Islam is a religion of peace, and no God does agree with nuclear war or antagonizing the United States.” He also added that „Kim Jong-un has no basic understanding of Islam“ and that „Muhammad is the last Prophet, not Kim Jong-un“, before going on to demonstrate at the nearest embassy of the 'Islamic Republic of Korea' and burn their new Islamic flag.
The first to react in the political theater was Turkey's leader and firebrand, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, calling the announcement 'blasphemous,' Kim Jong-un a 'heretic,' and that he [Erdogan] and not Kim was the leader of the Caliphate, meanwhile declaring jihad against the 'Islamic Republic of Korea'.
Mohammad bin Salman, Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, in a covert message, reminded of the fate of disappeared Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi, and that he would like to meet Kim Jon-un personally in the Saudi Arabia embassy in Beijing, China. He [MBS] would bring in many suitcases.